When You See the True Colours of Your Siblings

My siblings and I had a big fight over whether my father should be transferred to a restructured hospital.

I had been to KK Hospital, went through lots of pain and trauma, loss of excessive blood and thought I would not make it out alive.

Naturally, I said no.

My 5th sister said that she didn't have the money to pay anyway, but a restructured hospital is much better than a private hospital.

She gave birth to all her four children at Gleneagles Hospital and Thomson Medical, in a 2-bedder or 1-bedder ward.

Now she blames me for stopping her to go to KK Hospital.

She claimed that I said that Thomson Medical was cheaper than KK.

I said,"How is that possible that I said that? I only said that KK's A ward is more expensive than some private hospitals."

I wished I were not such a busybody. I wished I had encouraged her to go to KK. Now I really hate myself for stopping her. Because of the good experiences at private hospitals, she went on to have 3 more accidental pregnancies, resulting in her having to become a stay-at-home mother.

If she had gone to KK, I am quite sure she would not have given birth to so many children. A few colleagues who had been to KK had their last child there. They all claimed the same thing as I did, that it was a traumatising and painful experience.

But she advocates restructured hospitals. She said her nurse-friend said that restructured hospitals have specialised departments for my father's condition.

On knowing that my father was hospitalised, a chat friend made a remark: the one who doesn't pay makes the most noise.

How true!

Then my brother too.

I heard from my elder sister that he is saving up for his wife to open a facial salon.

The only thing he ever says to support the transfer is always about money: the way father is going, we won't be able to pay even if we go bankrupt.

When I insisted I don't want my father to transfer, he said this:

Next time when you have brain tumor, we will send you to Dr (the doctor in charge of my father).

I said: what tumor?

You won't believe what he said: Your brain is up your ass.

That's it.

Even then, on account that he is my brother, I refrained from scolding him.

I just said his eyes only had money and his wife. For his wife, our father could die.

When I told William about it, he said,"How can he say such things when you have helped him so many times?"

I had almost forgot that I ever helped him! I tried to recall how I had helped him:

1) When he just graduated and could not find a job, he took up a $1000 per month job as a telemarketer. The company even made him sign a bond of one year. 2 weeks into his job, he was offered an engineering job with a salary that befitted a graduate. He said since he had signed the contract, perhaps he should continue with it. He had no choice.

I took it upon myself to contact the company, and threatened to report to Ministry of Manpower. After a few days of tussle that was not without emotional turmoil, the company gave in and released my brother from the contract.

2) When he was about to get married, my father wanted a banquet to be thrown in Malaysia for his friends and relatives.

Not one of my sisters wanted to help. In fact, they gave stupid excuses such as "he places his wife above us","he only consults his wife's sister, not us. So let his wife's side help.", "It's not my business."

I told him if there was not enough money, I would fork out $5000 for the banquet, which didn't happen in the end as he made quite a neat sum from the two banquets. I also gave him a $2000 ang pow. William did make some noise over the size of the ang pow. He said that none of my sisters was going to give such a big ang pow, so why should I? I rationalised that being an elder sister, I ought to give my younger brother a big ang pow.

I also quarrelled with the rest of my sisters over not willing to help him. If every one of us came up with $1000, the Malaysia banquet would be comfortably covered. But no. They felt the pinch even when it was $1000. They knew I would fork out the $5000.

And he said my brain is up my ass.

Indeed. My brain is up my ass to have helped him.

I was blind to his fault of loving his wife above everything else. According to his wife, he is a handyman around her sister's house. But back at home, the only thing he ever does is play computer games!

After this episode, I finally see the true colours of my siblings.

I am hurt, and disappointed. I suppose if I had helped a stranger like that, he would be grateful?

My maternal relatives behave exactly like that ie. selfish and ungrateful. Since young, my father tried his best not to visit them unless necessary ie. Chinese New Year. He didn't want us to be like them. But they turned out like that anyway.

If not for my parents, I don't want to have any contact or association with them.

My father will be the reason I wipe out my savings, and slog to pay off the shared $100k medical bill. Apart from that, I want to distant myself from them.