Saturday 7 June 2008

In limbo

He said that his grandfather will help him pay back the credit card loans while he pays him back $2,000 every month. In addition, he'll give me $1,000 every month. Honestly, I don't believe that he'll give me $1,000. His old excuses will come up somehow,"I don't have the money""This month not enough.""Next week then I give you more." etc.

I honestly, badly, want to retain this marriage. I can't bear to see my kids ended up with no father at the time of birth. I don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want to have two kids with different surnames with me being a single mother. I don't want to give away my baby. I don't want to go through the process of a divorce. I don't want to fight over the custody of the child. I don't want to fight over the child's maintenance. I'm tired.

I don't know how long this marriage can last, but I'll stick it out for as long as I can, I guess.

TCS compere Quan Yifeng survived her unbalanced marriage with her being the sole breadwinner. It makes me think that perhaps there really would be a day that William might do better and we don't have to quarrel about money anymore.

I've been trying to talk to him about the possibility of running a business. Teaching is definitely not something we can do for a lifetime. But he's been evasive and reluctant. He's always using his debts as a hedge.

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