Saturday 10 May 2008

Singlemotherhood

I was just reading on a thread on mothers who are studying at the same time.

One of them is a teenage mother who's looking for some diploma courses to attend while working full-time. She was asking how it can be done since she needs to support her baby and herself simultaneously. And if she works part-time to study full-time, she'll generate less income, which would translate into a challenging financial situation for her and the baby.

I just can't help but feel thankful that I was paid while studying full-time back then in 2001 to 2003. It's true. It would not have been possible to study full-time and hold a part-time job to support a baby and yourself.

I wanted to suggest doing full-time studies at NIE but it occurred to me that she's only a teenager and probably only had 'O' levels, since she's looking for diploma courses.

Motherhood is not easy. Whatmore a teenage mother. I don't admire her so-called courage in facing an essentially conservative, quientessentially an asian society, with an 'unwed mother' identity. I really don't. In fact, having gone through the single motherhood phase before, I believe that these girls would even feel a tinge of pride that they were 'brave enough to face how the society would look at them' and that they've braved all odds to give birth to a baby who they could have otherwise aborted.

I'm skeptical. Because I had been there. The truth was, I didn't have the courage to abort the baby. I know that ultimately, the one facing the guilt of aborting the baby would be me, not the society, nor my parents, or anybody else for that matter. I was even more fearful to lie on that operating table to get that little life killed. I was afraid that for the rest of my life, I won't be able to face myself whenever I walk past a little baby.

See how I sidetrack. I was just talking about the challenges of teenage motherhood. Single motherhood itself is a huge challenge, especially financially. I really don't know how this girl is going to manage if she doesn't have any help from her parents. I needed a lot of help from my parents to look after Coco. I didn't know how to look after a baby. I didn't have enough money to spare to support the baby and myself. Without them, I couldn't have gone to work to earn that money, and get that qualification.

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